Shadow Work: Embracing Your Dark Side for Real Growth

Has there ever been a time when you felt like you were missing something from the past? Maybe it’s an old version of yourself you secretly wish you could bring back. Maybe it’s a behavior you once had that makes you cringe now. Sometimes, you catch yourself having a random flashback of something you did years ago, and suddenly, boom—shame, regret, self-doubt.

Or maybe it’s the present. A trigger appears out of nowhere, leaving you wondering where it came from. You’ve been trying to break a habit, yet somehow, you find yourself back in the same old cycle like you never even tried in the first place.

Or, simply, you’re doing everything to improve, but you still feel stuck. Like, seriously, what more do you have to do?!

Well, then, welcome to shadow work. This blog is going to break down what your shadow self actually is, why you NEED to face it (yes, even if you think you’ve done all the self-improvement already), how to practice shadow work, and everything you need to know before diving into it.

What is Shadow Work?

You ever feel like no matter how much you improve, there’s still something holding you back? Like you’ve hit a glass ceiling you can’t quite break? That’s because self-improvement isn’t just about enhancing your strengths—it’s about facing the things you’d rather avoid.

This is where shadow work comes in.

There’s a part of you, deep down, that you don’t like to acknowledge. Maybe it’s an insecurity, a limiting belief, or a fear you picked up from your past. It might not even be obvious—sometimes, you’re unaware that something is blocking you until you stop and actually reflect.

For example, let’s say you dream of financial independence. You work hard, set goals, and make plans. But deep down, you were raised with the belief that money is always scarce and should be saved rather than invested. So, without realizing it, you hesitate when it’s time to take risks or make bold financial moves, because that belief is still weighing you down. And that, my friend, is how your shadow self keeps you from leveling up.

Why is Shadow Work So Important?

Because if you don’t do it, you’re dragging around emotional baggage like an overstuffed suitcase. Imagine climbing a mountain—that mountain being your goals and achievements. Some parts are easy, some are steep, but you keep going. Now, imagine doing that with a backpack filled with bricks labeled trauma, insecurities, and limiting beliefs.

At first, you might not feel the weight. But as you climb higher and start facing challenges, the bag gets heavier. Suddenly, doubt creeps in. You question yourself. You feel exhausted. The bag gets so heavy that at some point, it stops you from climbing at all.

So, what’s the solution? Simple: Get rid of the damn bricks. Drop the thoughts, beliefs, and fears that no longer serve you. The lighter the bag, the higher you climb.

How to Practice Shadow Work

Alright, now that we know why shadow work is crucial, let’s get into the practical side. How do you do it? Where do you start? And how often do you have to do it?

1. Notice When a Trigger Appears

We all have moments where something small sets us off in a big way. You might get nervous when someone asks for your honest opinion. You might always feel a little defensive when someone comments on your appearance. Or maybe, every time you’re about to try something new, you hesitate and lose interest for no reason.

The first step is to notice it and write it down. Example:

“I wanted to start this new project, but suddenly, I felt uncomfortable. I feel weird doing something without someone else’s approval.”

You don’t need to have all the answers yet—just get the thought on paper.

2. Set a Shadow Work Time Block

Start by setting aside at least one dedicated time block per week for shadow work. The length depends on what feels best for you. Personally, I like to set aside an hour—no pressure, no rush, just a calm, intentional session.

3. Start Your Ritual

Now, let’s get into the real deal. Find a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed. Grab a journal and a pen. If you want to set the mood, dim the lights, light a candle, or play calming music—whatever makes you feel in the zone.

Take a few deep breaths and think back to a time when you felt triggered by a thought or belief. Then, choose a few prompts to guide your reflection:

• “Where does this belief come from?”
• “When was the last time I had a similar trigger?”
• “Did this trigger start in childhood or more recently?”

Write down whatever comes to mind. Don’t filter your thoughts. Let them flow, no matter how messy they seem. This is YOUR space to be completely honest.

Now, reread what you wrote. Somewhere in your past, a version of you developed this belief or trauma. That’s your shadow self. Imagine them sitting in front of you. What do they look like? What are they wearing? What’s their body language?

This might feel vulnerable. Maybe you don’t like thinking about this version of yourself. Maybe you even mock them. But your job isn’t to judge—it’s to observe.

Now, face them. Tell them everything is okay. Explain why this belief or trigger no longer needs to control your life. Forgive them. Accept them. Give them a hug if it helps, and let them know that from now on, you are in control.

And then? Let. It. Go.

What Happens After Shadow Work?

Shadow work isn’t a one-and-done deal. Sometimes, you’ll need to revisit certain triggers more than once. The good news? The more you do it, the less you’ll have to. Awareness is key—once you start recognizing your shadow self in daily life, you can actively work on releasing those beliefs in the moment.

For example, if you always trash-talk an old version of yourself but then go and do shadow work to “forgive” that version, you’re not really learning the lesson. Shadow work is about awareness—so when you catch yourself repeating old thought patterns, you consciously choose to accept them instead of falling into the same cycle.

Progress takes time. Be patient with yourself. And remember, you’re not doing this to erase your past—you’re doing it to understand, accept, and finally move forward without that heavy-ass backpack holding you down.

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